Perfectionism

“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.” Margaret Atwood

I stumbled across this quote today and it touched something I've been mulling over lately. I have this itch to be creative. It's quite evident in the times I've started creative projects throughout my life - like the time I took a water color class and the numerous times I've thought of book ideas.

Here's the rub, I also have this intense need inside me to only do things if I know I can do them well. This perfectionism tends to force me away from any creative project I attempt. If you know me, you know that I quit the water color class (the half finished painting resides in a bag of painting supplies in our spare bedroom), and perhaps even more important, the book ideas float out there tempting me and terrifying me at the same time.

Just so you know, I only recently realized this about myself....So now I'm going to attempt to overrule my perfectionistic side so that I can give my creativity a fighting chance. I think it's going to be a real battle...

(Are there support groups for this type of thing?) :)

nature

Love this - there are so many layers...

And this...

And of course this...

It was a good time :)

Smokies

Some of my favorite photos from a camping trip a few years back...thought I'd share! :)

Missing all things history

So the past two Sundays I've pushed myself to complete pretty long runs in my pursuit to follow-through on my commitment to run 13.1 miles on May 8th. I'm impressed with myself...and sore. While I was running today I decided I should share with all of you a new find that's helped me pass the time while running. I've been listening to a history podcast called Stuff You Missed in History Class. It's two women discussing somewhat obscure items from history. I've found each episode to contain fascinating tidbits that (true to the name of the podcast) I did not learn throughout my (many) years of history education. Each lasts twenty minutes or so and delves into the story with just enough depth to educate the listener on the topic and instill a curiosity about further details. I'd recommend this podcast to anybody like me who enjoys spending the present learning about moments in the past. They also have a blog that you can read here. Happy listening!

A Wrinkle in Time

I recently enjoyed falling back into the story of Meg Murry in Madeleine L'Engle's, A Wrinkle in Time. I read it again as a bit of research for a project I've been adding to in my spare time. Spare time which seems to become more and more elusive as the year progresses. I've been able to read A Wrinkle while training for the mini-marathon on, yes, (gasp), the treadmill. I know I'll offend all real runners by admitting that I've done most (I'm sorry all) of my training on a treadmill and not outside. Regardless, thanks to the new Kindle, I'm able to actually read while I run! There's no doubt it's the reason I've been able to get through these initial miles. So, right what's the point of this post - I recommend picking up the books, like A Wrinkle, that were favorites from years ago. It's refreshing to enter the worlds you can only remember in bits and interact with characters who charmed years ago.

simple

I'm discovering something necessary about the combination of a steady, almost rhythmic, candle flicker; a familiar, calming song surprising me on the playlist; and the simplicity only a Friday night with no alarms on the horizon can evoke. The underlying anxieties and to do lists which normally run as background on repeat throughout the hours and minutes are erased. (They really are constants I promise...just ask Ryan...and everything on those lists are a TOP PRIORITY...at least it seems that way at the time...maybe not so much right now).

This is a breathing moment. I need to remember to do this more often. : )

The Bell Jar

I just finished reading The Bell Jar and recommend it to everyone who, like me, is an introspective psychology major with closet dreams of writing more than client letters and various legal documents. Sylvia Plath's fictional account of her own life experiences winds its way into the slipping mind of a college-aged girl. She is aware of her mind's decay and endures the psychiatric treatments available in the earlier part of the 1900s. From the moment I heard the premise of this book, I started my library watch in hopes of making it my next read. Libraries can be pretty frustrating at times, and a few months went by as I waited for my turn to read about a life trapped in a bell jar. This sentence on the first page assured me I was going to like the book -

"Mirage-gray at the bottom of their granite canyons, the hot streets wavered in the sun, the car tops sizzled and glittered, and the dry, cindery dust blew into my eyes and down my throat."

I appreciate an author's ability to, with words, describe people, events, and scenery in such depth that I can almost taste the ideas. I relish words and the way they can be finely crafted to allow the reader a glimpse of the author's imagination. As a writer I am and have always been concise. I find little reason to ramble and have always had difficulty meeting page limits. However, when I am blessed by the time and inspiration to write something other than an assignment for work or school, I love sitting and reflecting on different and better ways to describe the ideas flowing through my mind. I am excited when the words flow together to create a crystal clear picture of my thoughts.

Plath's novel resounded with descriptions like the one above and satisfied my desire to both look into and attempt to understand a tired mind. Enjoy!