Reading v. Writing

Like (I'd assume) most "bloggers" out there, I've long felt a desire to make something of a writing career for myself.... I suppose that's why I began blogging originally. It certainly wasn't so that you could all read what I write. Because that thought mostly terrifies me. If you know me, it's obvious I'm not currently making a career out of writing. At least not fiction... or anything else interesting. I feel guilty for not writing more fairly often, which is where the title for this post comes in. I think my desire to write stems from my lifelong enjoyment of reading. There isn't much fiction out there that I can't become lost devouring. All of these excellent books over the years have been building my imagination to a place where I'm able to create characters and parts of plots on a whim. Maybe I'll gradually fall more comfortably into writing these thoughts down....maybe someday I'll find myself writing with the same energy I can easily apply to reading. :)

Perfectionism

“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.” Margaret Atwood

I stumbled across this quote today and it touched something I've been mulling over lately. I have this itch to be creative. It's quite evident in the times I've started creative projects throughout my life - like the time I took a water color class and the numerous times I've thought of book ideas.

Here's the rub, I also have this intense need inside me to only do things if I know I can do them well. This perfectionism tends to force me away from any creative project I attempt. If you know me, you know that I quit the water color class (the half finished painting resides in a bag of painting supplies in our spare bedroom), and perhaps even more important, the book ideas float out there tempting me and terrifying me at the same time.

Just so you know, I only recently realized this about myself....So now I'm going to attempt to overrule my perfectionistic side so that I can give my creativity a fighting chance. I think it's going to be a real battle...

(Are there support groups for this type of thing?) :)

writing

I have a love of reading.  I am not sure love is the correct word.  After the first few pages I find myself settling comfortably into the obsession yet again.  Yes, obsession is probably a more accurate word.  The words invade my mind and I cannot stop.  Being in the middle of a book means my days are filled of thoughts about said book, and I cannot wait for my next chance to learn more of the characters.  I yearn to know what fate the author has intricately woven and predestined for each of them.  This is why I have not yet been able to write.  I hope and plan to write one day.  Short stories maybe, or even that one great novel that people dream about.  I am, however, paralyzed.  I do not begin to write.  I  cannot even note ideas because I am intimidated by the immense talent a multitude of authors have had to shape stories which have driven my obsession for years.  My ideas come and go, and almost every time I pause and convince myself the particular idea could not possibly capture the mind and imagination of my most severe audience and critic, whom I know quite well is me.   

(should be studying for the bar right now...)  :)